Heavy heart

Today I have a heavy heart. One of the ladies I follow on Twitter sent a message requesting prayers for a sweet 2 year old baby girl. She's in the final stages of cancer and her story is heart-wrenching. I can barely read through tears. One of the posts by her mom to her blog reads:

"Towards the end of a pregnancy, a mother will wake up to go to the bathroom every few hours. I think this is the body’s way of preparing you for a newborn and the sleepless nights that come along with it. Layla now spends most of her days sleeping. 30-45 minutes after she wakes up, she is ready to lay down and sleep again. Is this God’s way of preparing me for all the quiet time that is coming soon? The house is quiet. I am able to go through the motions of laundry, dishes, cooking and picking up without interruptions. But I WANT interruptions. I WANT Layla to be under my feet asking for cookies. I WANT to hear her playing with her toys. I WANT to take 45 minutes to unload the dishwasher because she keeps trying to help. For every time I uttered the words “I just can’t get anything done with these kids under my feet all day” I am eternally regretful. The days that I looked forward to naptime so I could get a grocery list made, or finally fold all the piles of laundry…I regret those days too. If I could do it all again, I’d enjoy EVERY SINGLE WAKING MOMENT I had with her. I would never wish for her to sit still or take a nap or go to bed early. I would never look forward to the days when she could sit through an entire episode of Dora silently. I would treasure every second with her."

Hit me smack in the face. Especially after the night and morning we had. Just last night I was frustrated because my 18 mo. old decided he didn't want to sleep in his crib. He decided cuddling next to mama hit the spot and was a softer place to rest his head. Just this morning I was frustrated because he was underneath my feet grabbing for the tooth-brush, attempting to dunk it in the toilet, pulling the hair-dryer down on top of him, reaching for me arms wide open, grunting for me to hold him--all the while I'm trying to get the two older boys dressed for school, my hair dried, breakfast to everyone, lunches made and out the door to deliver snacks to Kindergartners and on to work on time. It was a crazy, hectic morning. I'm ashamed after reading about sweet Layla and what her parents must be feeling to have been selfishly frustrated with my healthy family. I'm ashamed that I take all those little things for granted.

The truth is if something happened to me or (God forbid) one of my precious kiddos I don't want to look back with regrets. I want to have soaked up every carefree, deliriously happy moment as well as the "not-so-great" moments. Because they are moments. Frustration fades. If we haven't made all the memories we can, won't those fade, too? That's why I want so many memories that it will take decades, or better yet, a lifetime for those memories to fade. I want to pour myself in to my kids and feel the completeness that we bring to each others' lives.

I don't mean to be a Debbie Downer. I'm just so, so sad for the family mentioned above. I can't imagine the horrific ordeal they are facing. Please pray for peace for this family and that they'll feel God's love and comfort during this impossible time.

So, in hopes of ending a sad post on a good note, please enjoy some pics I snapped this weekend of my fabulous, precious kiddos. Just a typical Saturday morning, hanging out, doing what we like to do--absolutely nothing. :) Hug your babies tight tonight and say a prayer of thanks!

Great quote

I see this quote regularly in the hallway of the dorm and I like it every time I read it. I think it's so good and just thought I'd share today.

"To be a Christian without prayer is no more possible than to be alive without breathing"
-MLK Jr.

Just sit and think and chew on this for a few minutes. Let it sink in. Very true. Are we claiming to be Christians without ever having conversations with God?

Valentines

So, what is your idea of a perfect Valentines Day or date? Candy? Flowers? Eating at a nice restaurant? Gifts?

If your answer is yes to any of the above then your idea and mine differ quite a bit from each other. Not necessarily a bad thing--it's ok to have differences of opinions. It's just that, to me, this doesn't represent the perfect Valentines. That's all.

To me, Valentines day has never been a really big deal. Ever since Brandon and I started dating, even up until now, we've never really celebrated Valentines day in a big way. He's usually had to work and we're hardly ever together on that day. So instead we celebrate love all throughout the year.

But this time Valentines Day was a little different for us. This year we were together on Valentines Day. Without kids! :)

With President's Day being Monday and the kids out of school my mom decided to take all three kids to my grandparents' house for the night. All three of them! Whatever will we do with ourselves with no kids? On Valentines Day? :)

Here's what we decided. We had a simple lunch with the family before sending them off and out of town. We spent the afternoon piddling around Jackson running here and there (Goodwill, Old Navy and even a quick trip to the mall!--Romantic, I know! Ha.) Got back to town, went to church, ordered take out from our favorite--Los Portales--and went home. We spent the evening watching a movie, enjoying our take out and watching episode after episode of 24. It was great. We baked a pan of brownies and went on a brownie binge! Really, we just enjoyed the night together. Just us. It was perfect.

You see, to me, Valentines isn't about spending a lot of money on big gifts or candy that will be eaten in a day--ahem--week. :/ It's not about waiting hours to eat at a nice--crowded restaurant. I don't like to share. I didn't want to share my Valentine with 100 other Valentines dates at a crowded movie theater. I much more enjoyed our night in together. Just me and him. Nothing better! :)

What kind of girl am I?

I'm a boots kind of girl!!! That's what kind! :) I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE boots. Problem? I have big legs. And ankles. Most of the time boots (the cute stylish ones) don't fit. Sad.

Until...I found some that fit. Well. Bad news? They are Coach. The word "Coach" is also interchangeable with "expensive"!

However, last year I found an amazing deal on Coach boots. Used every bit of my Christmas money to buy them. Best money ever spent.

Until...I wore them every day in NYC in the rain and weather and the soles began coming apart. Sad.

You know, expensive boots shouldn't come apart. Not even after you get them at the clearance price. So, I sent them back asking if anything could be done? Sure. They will send them to Coach Headquarters and repair them and ship them back to me free of charge. Great.

Except...they can't be repaired. Sad. So what now? Oh, they'll just issue me store credit in the amount of full retail price. But I only paid clearance on them. Doesn't matter. You get full store credit. Say wha????

So...what do I do? Order this year's boots--at CLEARANCE price and have money left over to spend in store! WhoooHooo!

And...my boots arrived today. And they're LOVELY. Makes me all the more sure that I'm a BOOTS kind of girl. :) Thank you, Coach!

Wordless Wednesday...

;D

So sad, but so true...

My cousin and her family came in for a visit this weekend. Sunday as they headed home we decided to follow them as far as Jackson and have lunch together. We ate at Logan's. Thanks to coupons we enjoyed a steak meal on a bologna budget. ;) Yum, yum!!!

As we were leaving and getting everyone buckled here is the conversation:
Lawson grinning: "Mom, look! I took a peanut with me. --Can I crack it open now?"
Me: "No, Lawson. Where are you going to put the shell once it's opened?"
Lawson surveying the floorboard of the van: "Mom, this car is a wreck anyway. Can't I just put it on the floor like we do in the restaurant???"

Kudos, Lawson. You not only were 50% of the cause for the car being "a wreck" but you also managed to remind me of just how messy it was/is! Haha. What a stinker. I think if it hadn't been so cold I would have made him stay out there and clean it when we got home. ;)

BTW, he waited until we got home to open the peanut...and left it on the kitchen floor!!!! ;)

Don't judge me...

So what? I'm using Christmas postage stamps and it's already February. I like to think of it as an extended holiday. A way to make the pennies reach just a little further. A way to get my bill payments to their destination on time. Yep. Go me. I'm sooooo on top of things. :)