As a mother of two very special, but very active little boys I question just about every decision I make when it comes to them (I can hear the "Amens" from all of you that know me all too well! :)). If you know me at all, you know that my boys are my life! I agonize over every decision that I make with regard to them. I agonize over each time they get into trouble. Was it something I did or didn't do that caused them to behave inappropriately? Now keep in mind they are 4 and 2! I am just a worrier by nature. I have to tell myself daily that if they don't make the insignificant mistakes that ultimately turn out to be learning opportunities then how can I teach them to avoid the "biggies" in the future and how to handle mistakes that they will inevitabley make in the future. Just a side note as I am thinking about mistakes, children, forgiveness, etc. : I don't think I fully understood forgiveness until I had children. I always thought I understood, but realized that I didn't grasp the vastness of it until I had children of my own. You see, I started thinking one day about them growing to be young men (something I try to avoid! Ha!) knowing that there will be mistakes and disappointments. I know without a doubt that there is NOTHING and I mean NOTHING that they could do that I couldn't forgive them for when they realized what they had done. I would take them right back in and love them all the more. If it were something that they continued to struggle with I would always love them and pray for their hearts to be right and pray that they would soon have a change of heart. You see, mistakes cannot take away a mother's love. I think that our Father in Heaven is even more like that than I can imagine. He forgives us each and every time we say we are sorry and loves us even more when we confess to Him and repent. He also never gives up on us and longs for our change of heart when we are in the wrong. He always waits for us to come home to Him as we live our lives full of sin. I think being a mom has helped me to understand that better and also to really let go of the daily downfalls I make after I've asked for forgiveness. I can now realize that He truly forgives and doesn't want to dwell on the imperfectness that I display at times.
If you read very many of my posts you will soon learn that I am very scatterbrained and I feel confident that that will more than rear it's ugly head in my postings. I will probably skip from one topic to another and these may not make any sense at all! I promise I'll try to keep my ramblings to a minimum and not waste anyone's time! :)
I don't know, yet, the true purpose of my new "blog". I don't know if it will be my therapy, a way to stay connected to family and friends, an attempt to uplift or just share funny, happy, or sad moments that our family is dealing with at the time. I feel quite certain that all of those elements will pop up from time to time. I would say it will deal largely with me and what is on my heart that day.
You know, time with little ones goes by so very quickly. I think this may be my effort to journal some of those things that I think now I'll never forget but know all too well that one day will be wondering, "Now what happened with that, again?" It's happened to me already! I am not a very faithful scrapbooker. I vowed to make each child a scrapbook for at least the first year. Lawson's was completed I think the day before he turned 1. Ha. Jagger is another story...I think I am on month three (where I have been for the last year and a half) and he is now 2!! I keep promising to get better. One day I'll get there.
I'll try to post a family update tomorrow. I know this first entry didn't give much insight on our family and all that is going on with us. Moderation, you know!
'Till next time...
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